The Momentum of a Moment…

If you’re like me, most often you are your harshest critic. You leave the classroom reflecting on the experience of learning you just shared with your students. On the way back to the office, you run through all of the things you think you could have done different (which translates in your head to better).

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being critical about your work, don’t get me wrong. There is, however, a very fine line between critical thinking about your teaching and being hyper-critical. Some of us constantly toe the line of imposter syndrome, teetering between healthy consciousness and unhelpful rules.

People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them. Those with imposter syndrome—which is not an official diagnosis—are often well accomplished; they may hold high office or have numerous academic degrees.¹

Maybe you don’t question your intelligence, but that alone doesn’t define what Imposter Syndrome is. Maybe you don’t fear discovery. That too is not a singular defining factor. But Impostor Syndrome can show up in a million different ways. Often, when I encounter students who are experiencing it, worn out by a constant feeling of not “belonging” or not being capable, I tell them that the experience is not unique to youth; many of the adults around them are experiencing the same thing, even the people who seem to know it all.

In application to teaching, it’s that nagging worry about whether or not you got it “right,” and ifyou could have been more effective another way—perhaps the way someone else might have done it.

Unhelpful rules are those false idols of perfection we allow to write narrative scripts in our head about what perfect, effective, and acceptable look like. The rules may tell us that good teaching means excitement and enthusiasm, when the truth is “good” teaching can also inspire frustration and resistance because “good” teaching is challenging. They may also tell us it means being prepared for everything—having it all planned and mapped out to the letter, so there’s no room in our polished lesson plans for us to not have the answer. Unhelpful rules convince us it’s not alright to try something in the classroom that just doesn’t work.

In my process of analysis, I always have to make a sharp distinction between the truth of the teaching practice and the theoretical mistruths that float around in my head. They are the source of all the uber-analytical hyper-criticism that, if left unchecked, causes the educator to feel ineffective.

One tactic I employ to combat this nuisance is keeping a record of my successes. I started a “Gold Star” journal where I keep a record of all the positive interactions I have with teaching and students. I make certain to write down the “lightbulb” moments that happen in a class discussion and the times I see students wrestle with concepts and understanding then come out on top having successfully mastered a challenge. I keep a record of students with extra-curricular challenges who seek advice and guidance, then triumph. These golden moments crown the labor of teaching and they should be considered sacred to you as an educator. It’s important to let them nourish your motivation and commitment to the craft of teaching daily.

On themornings when I feel the slightest dip in my enthusiasm and feeling of effectiveness, the “Gold Star Journal” helps me remember why I load up my brief case and keep going. It serves as a reminder that teaching is also a learning process. We are allowed to not know, to try and fail, and to revisit and revise.

It may be difficult, but try to handle yourself with grace and compassion, even in the things you do professionally. Though sometimes the demands and labor of the profession make you feel like a machine, be reminded of your humanity. Be reminded that it is alright to take a quick break to still be nourished by the momentum of moments gone by.

1. “Imposter Syndrome.” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome#:~:text=Reviewed%20by%20Psychology%20Today%20Staff,%2C%20in%20fact%2C%20generally%20held. Accessed 05 Sep 2024.
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